Head Clown says...I once met this Wavy Gravy clown at a concert by a Grateful Dead clone band, called "The Other One" at the Palais de Royale, Toronto, circa 1985. We hung out a bit and rapped about the state of things. This clown was a very cool dude. I am going off to check my ticket stubs.
11/12/10
Clown Suits
Head Clown says....There once was a clown that developed an itch from her clown suit. This clown's obtained a nick name: Epiderma Itchiclownis. She was not a happy clown and eventually scratched her way through her suit. In order to keep her job as a children's clown, Epi needed a new clown suit:
11/8/10
The Last Circus
Head Clown says...
This looks like a good flick. If you weren't afraid of clowns yet...
8/27/10
Clowns shoes!
Here’s an excellent example of pwnage: when the white supremacist group VNN Vanguard Nazi/KKK tried to host a hate rally in Knoxville, Tennessee, they were foiled by … clowns!
Unfortunately for [VNN] the 100th ARA (Anti Racist Action) clown block came and handed them their asses by making them appear like the asses they were.
Alex Linder the founder of VNN and the lead organizer of the rally kicked off events by rushing the clowns in a fit of rage, and was promptly arrested by 4 Knoxville police officers who dropped him to the ground when he resisted and dragged him off past the red shiny shoes of the clowns. http://www.volunteertv.com/home/headlines/7704982.html
“White Power!” the Nazi’s shouted, “White Flour?” the clowns yelled back running in circles throwing flour in the air and raising separate letters which spelt “White Flour”.
“White Power!” the Nazi’s angrily shouted once more, “White flowers?” the clowns cheers and threw white flowers in the air and danced about merrily.
“White Power!” the Nazi’s tried once again in a doomed and somewhat funny attempt to clarify their message, “ohhhhhh!” the clowns yelled “Tight Shower!” and held a solar shower in the air and all tried to crowd under to get clean as per the Klan’s directions.
At this point several of the Nazi’s and Klan members began clutching their hearts as if they were about to have a heart attack. Their beady eyes bulged, and the veins in their tiny narrow foreheads beat in rage. One last time they screamed “White Power!”
The clown women thought they finally understood what the Klan was trying to say. “Ohhhhh…” the women clowns said. “Now we understand…”, “WIFE POWER!” they lifted the letters up in the air, grabbed the nearest male clowns and lifted them in their arms and ran about merrily chanting “WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER!”
8/5/10
2/17/10
2/1/10
1/24/10
US police nab man suspected in grand theft auto case as he plays 'Grand Theft Auto' game
Head Clown says...but these video games have no influence over behaviour whatsoever!
Published: Friday, January 22, 2010 | 4:57 PM ET
Canadian Press THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
ORLANDO, Fla. - Sheriff's deputies in central Florida found a suspected car thief playing the "Grand Theft Auto" video game, and they later charged him with just that.
Polk County deputies investigating the theft of a 1998 Dodge Durango arrested 30-year-old Michael Ray Ekes on Thursday. They found the Sports Utility Vehicle outside a Haines City home. Ekes was inside in the house, playing the popular video game.
Ekes was charged with grand theft auto, burglary and drug possession. At the time of his arrest, he was out of jail on bond for another grand theft auto charge, the Orlando Sentinel reported.
According to Polk County jail records, Ekes remained in custody Friday. Bond had not been set and no attorney was listed.
© The Canadian Press, 2010
Published: Friday, January 22, 2010 | 4:57 PM ET
Canadian Press THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
ORLANDO, Fla. - Sheriff's deputies in central Florida found a suspected car thief playing the "Grand Theft Auto" video game, and they later charged him with just that.
Polk County deputies investigating the theft of a 1998 Dodge Durango arrested 30-year-old Michael Ray Ekes on Thursday. They found the Sports Utility Vehicle outside a Haines City home. Ekes was inside in the house, playing the popular video game.
Ekes was charged with grand theft auto, burglary and drug possession. At the time of his arrest, he was out of jail on bond for another grand theft auto charge, the Orlando Sentinel reported.
According to Polk County jail records, Ekes remained in custody Friday. Bond had not been set and no attorney was listed.
© The Canadian Press, 2010
1/21/10
1/12/10
Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Guards Scene
She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge....tracts of land! ...
12/21/09
Book 99-years overdue returned to US library; fine came to $361.65, but not required
Head Clown says...at one point do library fines get wiped out? I need a Library Clown to do some research and report back.
Canadian Press THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
NEW BEDFORD, Mass. - The book returned to the New Bedford Public Library in Massachusetts this week wasn't overdue by a week, a month or even a year. It was nearly a century overdue, and the fine came to $361.35.
"Facts I Ought to Know about the Government of My Country" was supposed to have been returned by May 10, 1910.
Stanley Dudek told the Standard Times newspaper he came across the book while going through things that had belonged to his mother, who died about 10 years ago. He decided that returning the book to the city was the right thing to do.
The overdue book fine was a penny a day in 1910. But Dudek wasn't asked to pay it.
The library plans to display the book in its special collection.
Clowning around with Nano Technology
Humphrey the Hippieclown says...
The most white wine ever consumed by a female clown at a Christmas office party occurred December 17, 2009, by Carey Rammond, who drank 13.5 litres of Sterling Combustible Cabernet (2006) in just under 33 minutes. Fortunately for Carey and her clownish lover, Bozo Anon, the grapes had been programmed with the newest nano straighten-up technology, and Carey was able to drive them both safely home - sobre
as a school marm.
The most white wine ever consumed by a female clown at a Christmas office party occurred December 17, 2009, by Carey Rammond, who drank 13.5 litres of Sterling Combustible Cabernet (2006) in just under 33 minutes. Fortunately for Carey and her clownish lover, Bozo Anon, the grapes had been programmed with the newest nano straighten-up technology, and Carey was able to drive them both safely home - sobre
as a school marm.
Two Clowns Talk Past One Another
Head Clown says...
The dumbest conversation ever between two adult clowns happened December 17, 2009, between Bunnie Madam and Sane Wanders. It involved three interruptions, nine sidewinder tangents, four monologues, eight digressions, seven exclamatory remarks, two phantom emotional pesterings, three ad hominem attacks and two lonely, frustrated, defensive counterpoints preformed into two opposing batches of psychic goo.
The entire affair was gift-wrapped into two cross-purposed suppositions sprinkled over top of four doses of benedryl, three capsules of advil and six home crafted local lagers. But what did they say?
The dumbest conversation ever between two adult clowns happened December 17, 2009, between Bunnie Madam and Sane Wanders. It involved three interruptions, nine sidewinder tangents, four monologues, eight digressions, seven exclamatory remarks, two phantom emotional pesterings, three ad hominem attacks and two lonely, frustrated, defensive counterpoints preformed into two opposing batches of psychic goo.
The entire affair was gift-wrapped into two cross-purposed suppositions sprinkled over top of four doses of benedryl, three capsules of advil and six home crafted local lagers. But what did they say?
12/11/09
Time-Traveling Clown Spontaneously Combusts
Head Clown says...
The highest degree of self-censorship ever self-imposed by a selfless clown occurred on April 23, 1994, at Calgary's Hotel Matador by Clown Gaylord Glebeholme of High Hempstead, Alberta. While lunching in the dinner hall before a breakfast meeting of the Cattlewoman's Annual Meeting of Annual Man Eaters, Clown Glebeholm experienced 7,978 electrochemical mental processes in just over 22 minutes. Of these, 3,467 were daydreams and 569 were snippets of subconscious flotsam and jetsam. The remaining 3,942 mental forms involved very naughty thoughts about Glebeholm's server, Pamela Vroombucket.
Mr. Glebeholme was tempted to publish his mostly naughty thoughts in a Kindle trilogy, but knowing that discretion is the better part of valour, he kept his mischievous fantasies to himself.
At one point, a time-traveling clown named Jay Anon, himself a mind-reader from Planet Sterling, appeared underneath Glebeholme's table with an unlit cigarette in his snout, grunting, and barking, and shouting "Sieg Heil." In an attempt to appease, Pamela Vroombucket lit Jay Anon's smoke; unfortunately, the time-taveling clown spontaneously combusted—adding to the approximately 200 cited cases worldwide over the past 300 years. Miraculously, there were no other casualties. Honk.
The highest degree of self-censorship ever self-imposed by a selfless clown occurred on April 23, 1994, at Calgary's Hotel Matador by Clown Gaylord Glebeholme of High Hempstead, Alberta. While lunching in the dinner hall before a breakfast meeting of the Cattlewoman's Annual Meeting of Annual Man Eaters, Clown Glebeholm experienced 7,978 electrochemical mental processes in just over 22 minutes. Of these, 3,467 were daydreams and 569 were snippets of subconscious flotsam and jetsam. The remaining 3,942 mental forms involved very naughty thoughts about Glebeholm's server, Pamela Vroombucket.
Mr. Glebeholme was tempted to publish his mostly naughty thoughts in a Kindle trilogy, but knowing that discretion is the better part of valour, he kept his mischievous fantasies to himself.
At one point, a time-traveling clown named Jay Anon, himself a mind-reader from Planet Sterling, appeared underneath Glebeholme's table with an unlit cigarette in his snout, grunting, and barking, and shouting "Sieg Heil." In an attempt to appease, Pamela Vroombucket lit Jay Anon's smoke; unfortunately, the time-taveling clown spontaneously combusted—adding to the approximately 200 cited cases worldwide over the past 300 years. Miraculously, there were no other casualties. Honk.
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